I submitted the following in an essay contest through my Daughters of the American Revolution chapter. I wrote it with them in mind, but it's certainly for all of us... enjoy!
With the Weight of the World on Our Shoulders…
As women in twenty-first century America, we find ourselves laden with a great deal of expectations and demands as we tend to our families and careers, and try to squeeze our own health and sanity in there somewhere! Our lives often seem complicated and exhausting. Certainly the women of previous centuries felt similar emotions, but in the face of such different circumstances and daily lives. Considering the weight of responsibility on our shoulders, this daughter is beginning to learn how to carry a lighter load and find peace in the midst of the worries of the world.
As mothers and home-keepers, we strive to train up our children to be responsible, grateful, giving, well-rounded citizens. We agonize over the paths (and the inevitable stumbling blocks therewithin) of our children. We dry tears, calm fears, and suffer with our young through long nights of strep throat and stomach viruses. We clip coupons, eat leftovers for lunch, scour the bank statements for errors and pinch every penny to make ends meet. We long for the day that we can sleep through the night, eat a meal in peace, receive appreciation from our children, and maybe even pay for someone else to clean the toilets! And there is never enough time or energy in the day to do all that our hearts desire, much less all that life requires.
As employees, we strive to perform with excellence. (And we make up for the co-workers who do not!) We meet the challenges and character assaults flung at us with courage and determination. We contribute to the greater good of society through our fields of expertise, praying the next generation will be better as a result. We long for the day that we can cross everything off our to-do list, get rid of those tension headaches and stomach ulcers, finally be the one in charge, come home to a nice warm bubble bath, and even sleep in on a weekday, all without a care in the world. And there is never enough time or energy in the day to do all that our hearts desire, much less all that life requires.
As Daughters, we strive to bring to remembrance the sacrifices of those who have gone before us, and give back to our nation what we can in return for the many liberties and blessings she has afforded us. We contribute to the efforts, both great and small, of our chapters and state societies with dedication and gusto. In researching ancestral lines, we see the very signatures and tombstones of the women who have carried society to our time. As we imagine their heartaches and dreams, there is a sense of responsibility to fill our own lives with as much purpose and accomplishment as possible. We dream of making our communities places where every student graduates with a love American History, every citizen is a literate voter, every veteran is healthy and housed, and every soldier comes home safely. And there is never enough time or energy in the day to do all that our hearts desire, much less all that life requires.
But I have recently realized in my own life how heavy these responsibilities become if they are not tempered with the reality of my humanity and the grace of God. As a perfectionist and stay-at-home mom, I had become so entangled by the daily tasks of motherhood that it felt impossible to gain any perspective or hope of the future. Disheartened by the growing list of things to do that, let’s face it, might not ever be checked off! Beating myself up for all the ways I had fallen short. Disappointed by the ugly realities of sickness and pain and death and hate and injustice that at times seems to swallow the world up whole. And for some reason, I felt the need to understand all these mysteries, and own all these responsibilities, both true and false.
I was asking the Lord why it all felt so heavy, and if I was really supposed to feel so tired and heavy-laden in the face of what I considered ‘normal responsibility.’ His response was essentially, “Because it IS too heavy for you.” He is the Infinite One, and I am the limited mortal. By His design, He knows the future and I do not. He knows what my soon-to-be family of five will need in the years to come, and I – while I can worry all day long about what we might need, and if we will have enough - I do not. He knows the days that are left for me. He knows when and how the desires of my heart will be fulfilled. He knows it all.
And so His invitation to me through this realization was this: Let Me carry it for you. Let Me provide what you need. I am the One with unlimited strength. I am the Prince of Peace. I carry the government on My shoulders. At the end of the day, I am the One responsible, and I have chosen you to help Me with a few things, because I enjoy partnering with you and seeing your gifts and passions shine.
So I am learning to read my to-do lists through those glasses; to take off the load and rest for a while. I am deferring to my wise, capable, ever-present help in times of trouble, and taking His lead in what to carry tomorrow. He has counseled us to cease striving, and know that He is God. Of course the world must go on – the alarm clock will blare, the day’s tasks will press upon us (our bodies feeling the strain), challenges will appear without warning, and our toddlers will still have to be potty trained… perhaps I can at least let go of the things that aren’t mine to carry, share what I must carry, and find true joy in the fullness of all the good that has been given to me.
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