God, Family, Country

This is the motto of the Daughters of the American Revolution, to which I belong. It certainly sums up my heart! Which is one reason I love DAR. 

This year I have given much thought to this list and its order - I suppose now that I have a family of my own, it has become more complex to me. From day to day I will switch around the order of these three pillars of life, and chew and chew on it. 

Country First

(for which John McCain has recently received flack for saying!)

A few months ago we watched the HBO miniseries John Adams. It is AMAZING and I would HIGHLY recommend it to everyone!!! Actually I would require it of every American if I could! But it really got me thinking as I saw how John and Abigail sacrificed EVERYTHING for their country. His was most definitely Country, God, Family. He served (begrudgingly yet with a great sense of duty) overseas for many years during his children's formative years. Abigail ran the family and the country house all by herself while then Ambassador Adams was in Europe seeking financing for the Revolution and support for the colonies as a Nation. Once he did become president, his peers stung him consistently with the reminder that he wasn't even in the country when the Constitution was written. 

Anyway, his children and wife suffered greatly, to which he struggled mightily, and always wished it were not so, but in the end he would say something like: "If we don't step forward to serve in this most important time, someone else with less morals and scruples will. We cannot allow that." And his wife always concurred, and they counted the great and heavy cost together.

Adams also said: "Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives."

"I have accepted a seat in the House of Representatives, and thereby have consented to my own ruin, to your ruin, and to the ruin of our children. I give you this warning that you may prepare your mind for your fate." (to Abigail)

Seeing his family's loss played out onscreen saddened my heart. But it also increased my awe and appreciation for the Adams and all of the men and women who sacrificed their lives and fortunes (and families!) to create this nation. If they had not put their families on the back burner, we would not be who we are today. Period.

And all of this could be said for those who serve today in the military and government service! How many servicemen have left their families to give their all for ME and my family to be free? How much have these families sacrificed and lost? The cost could never be counted.

And of course enter Sarah Palin: mom of five, Governor of Alaska, potential Vice President of the US. Some have criticized her for putting her country above her family.  Do I wish she was 10 or 15 years older so her kids could be with her more? Absolutely. What a cost this must be to herself, her husband and her children. But what if she is called for such a time as this to serve her country in a role that no other woman in history has ever served? Or what if it is more her civic duty and desire for change than her spiritual duty that has lead her to this point? What if she is just being herself as a pro-active no-nonsense person and her desire for things to be right has brought her here? I have a friend who is on staff at our church and she is able to give input to the church operations from the perspective of a mom of small children - the only one on staff. If we think of our government in the same way, how great would it be to have an actual mom in the thick of it to bring new perspective to the system? I know this is a stretch, I know, but in a small way I think you could see the congruous thought here. 

God First

I have also done a lot of soul searching as I have seen people in the ministry give so much to their service of God that they have nothing left for their families - or perhaps they go overseas and their missionary lives appear to my limited view to be detrimental to their kids. I go back and forth on this a lot... part of me is sure that if God calls us to something, He makes a way to provide for our children. Maybe those MK's are totally happy and have everything they need from their parents to grow up well-adjusted and not jaded. But then there are times when this does not seem to be the way it actually turns out to be. And part of me is sure that God would not even call me to something that would sacrifice my family. And I lean on this assurance the most. But then in the same way that Adams felt called by God to serve, there are assignments in the Kingdom of God that cannot be done with excellence unless it is your absolute priority. I mean, something has to give - no one person can do it all! Aaaugh!!! This is so complicated!

Family First

Right now if I had to make my list, honestly I think it would be Family, God, Country. I mean, if you can't take good care of the ones He's given you, if you can't love your own flesh and blood with excellence, what is the freaking point??????? If we can't raise our kids to be responsible, giving, intelligent, loving members of society and reflectors of Jesus, then what will become of our world? Isn't this the greatest difference I can make in the world? In this season as a young mother it certainly is, but I have many seasons of life yet to live after my children are grounded.

But if I really do trust that God would not bring harm to my family, then I can relax know that God is first. It's just that I see so many people do the human thing and mess that up. In my opinion.

No Firsts or Lasts

I was just running all of this past my husband and he came up with the brilliant concept that maybe we don't have to list it one, two, three. Maybe it is more like a pie chart (what a wonderfully Jay-the-engineer thing to say!), with all the pieces of our hearts converging in the middle equally, and we can move around the grid as needed, when the situation arises. We don't have to always choose one over the other, and they are not always pitted against each other. One area may give and flow into another, and they can all coexist peacefully. So I will start chewing it this way... hmmm.... lots of food for thought!